Goodwill Nail Polish? Hmmm.

So, I bought this nail polish from Goodwill a couple of weeks ago and today, I had the worst kind of epiphany. I was applying said polish, when suddenly it occurred to me that the person who gave it away to Goodwill might have had some kind of weird toe disease. This thought kind of horrified me actually. I couldn't believe I had not thought of it earlier. It all seemed so clear. And so nasty. I think I would probably die if I were to contract a strange fungus. I cannot be known as Toe-Disease-Girl. That would be quite unacceptable.

That being said, I did however continue to paint my nails. I simply cannot deny the amazing-ness of $0.99 Revlon nail polish. Dang, that stuff is regularly like five whole dollars. I decided that I will just have to hope that the person who used that nail polish before me was a clean, safe, fungus-free person. Plus, being winter, it kind of rains all the time, so I get to wear shoes everyday anyway. If I did become fungified, no one would ever know. That would be the plan at least. Haha, I would probably even donate the contaminated polish back to Goodwill. Well, maybe not. I'd like to think I'm a pretty nice person, so I guess I would probably throw it away. Unless I was really upset of course.

Catholicism...?

Hmmm. I have been going to Catholic church for a while, and I have to say I am a fan. This may just be because it is a new religious environment for me, but I would like to think it's because I truly like Catholicism. I was taking a shower a few minutes ago and found myself singing this Latin church song that we sang tonight. At first, I was like, "Hmmm, it's kind of funny that I am belting this out in the shower..." But then after a while, it was still stuck in my head and I just gave up trying not to sing it. Therefore, I decided to make a list of everything i like about Catholicism. I actually kind of like making lists, so here I go.

1.) I like all the ceremony. The priests dress up in cool robes and at the very beginning of church, the main priest comes in bearing this cool fancy Bible over his head as the choir sings a very joyful type of song. Then, following him, the next highest priest comes along (I don't know exactly what this title is called, but oh well) and he carries in this cross with Jesus on it that's on a stick. It's all very beautiful and they are so reverent and humble. I really like it. And they have lighted candles on stage and everything looks really pretty.

2.) The ritualized behavior. Everyone always knows the exact thing to say or do at the exact time. There are certain sayings you say after the priest says a certain thing and certin signs you perform at a given "cue". It is all pretty neat. I also really like how when the people come in to the sanctuary, they all bow and cross themselves and say a silent little prayer. I think this act of love for God is also very beautiful ad it is not something I grew up seeing in evangelical church. I really like the whole Caholic behavior and how they humble themselves before God. I think it is really nice. I want to learn how to do this so I do not look like such a loser when I walk in and stuff.

3.) There is this basin of holy water with a baptismal basin full of holy water. I think this is so cool! I had never even seen holy water before I came to Catholic church. To be honest, I thought it was one of those quaint little things you see in movies or read about in vampire books. I was very pleasantly surprised when a few weeks ago, the priest announced that the baptismal basin was indeed full of holy water.

4.) The fellowship shared by all Catholics. On any given Sunday, most churches sing the same songs out of this book that has what to do each service for the whole year in it. I can't remember what this book is called, but I think it's cool that everything is so coordinated. At first, I thought this was a bad thing, that allowed no creativity in worship, but now I have come to realize that the priests are free to have a lesson on whatever they want on top of the readings given in the book. This book also has like every Catholic song ever. And that is so cool! Each song has the sheet music too, so even if you don't know the song, you can kind of read the music and know the notes to sing and all the timing and stuff.

5.) All the mantras (for lack of a better word). I'm sure there is a correct term for this, but several times in each service the whole mass stands up and says the same thing in the same voice. I know for a fact that they say the Lord's prayer each service (which is awesome, because I know this and can say it with them...) and like two other long passages. I can't really remember what they are about though, but I still think it's pretty great that they all say the same thing at the same time. I always feel really good when I can recite the Lord's prayer with them. It really makes me feel like part of the group. I guess I really like routine and saying these things each service is kind of comforting and nice. I like it a lot.

6.) Swing down kneeling bars. These are pretty much the coolest things ever. I really like them. Several times throughour the service, everyone gets down on their knees and they whip out these little kneeling bars. They are really comfortable and nice. I never really got to kneel at Christian church and I really like the change. it sounds kind of silly, but I kind of feel closer to God when I kneel. And it doesn't hurt that it is kind of fun too.

7.) The eucharist. Catholics take communion every Sunday. I think this is also super cool. At my church back home, we only did communion like once or twice a year, and it never seemed to have the special significance it seems to have for Catholics. For them, it is the actual body and blood of Jesus, not just some silly little cracker and teaspoon sized cup of grape juice. The priest has this whole ordeal for getting the Eucharist set up and I really like to watch him do his thing. He is pretty pro. I love the reverence he has for the whole thing. He holds each thing up to God and blesses it and pours wine into silver goblets and he has this whole routine with ringing bells and chanting and stuff. All the meanwhile, everyone sings songs and stuff. Since I was not baptized catholic, I cannot take the Eucharist. This makes me kind of sad, but I don't really want to go against everyone. Plus, I don't really know enough about Catholicism to take it. I really wish I could, but I will have to wait until I actually decide to become Catholic. If I decide to do this.

8.) Foreign priests. Sometimes, visiting priests from foreign countries come to give mass. There are a bunch of Italian ones who come and I really like their accents. I know this is kind of un-Godly, but I just can't help it. Listening to their cute accents makes me pay attention all the more. So I guess it's a good thing. Today, I shook hands with the priest who gave the mass. He was a foreigner. Needless to say, I was a pretty happy camper afterwards. It's not that I think they're hot or anything (then I would really go to Hell...), it's just that I like the fact that they are foreigners. I think I have a special place for foreigners in my heart, actually. There was never a foreign preacher at my old church. I don't even know if they would allow it. They were pretty lame. I think they liked their white, evangelical men to preach. This sounds awful, but I'm pretty sure it's true.

9.) I actually think I'm done. I'm sure there are more things that I am forgetting, and that makes me feel kind of bad, but oh well.

My ugly ID card.

My school ID card is probably one of the most horrible things I have ever seen. I look like some kind of creepy child molester. This is quite unfortunate because everyone has to look at it. All the time. And I mean everyone. The people who scan it for my food, test proctors and whoever just happens to look over at it when I inadvertently leave the thing face up on a table.

My card causes me much concern. I have been using it for a little more than one whole school year and my friends still make fun of me for it. Haha, I even still make fun of me for it. It is so hopelessly unattractive that I kind of want to die everytime I let someone see it. Oh well though.

I have had numerous experiences involving my sad excuse for an ID card; the most recent of which happened just last night. I had a physics midterm yesterday, which I might add, was death. But death aside, my ID card experience was also quite terrible. Not quite death, but close. So... I arrived at my test location, and I saw my test proctor. He was one of the hottest guys I have seen all year. He was pretty darn good looking. Which is amazing, because most grad students in physics are horribly unattractive. I must admit, I kept sneaking peeks at him all thoughout my exam. I just couldn't help it. All in all, I probably wasted like three or four minutes staring at him. Not all at once of course, but spread throughout the eighty minutes. When I had finally finished, I had to bring my test up and show the the hot proctor my ID card, to prove that I am really kelsey-tron. I forgot that I look really ugly on it... But when I got up to him and handed him my card, he looked at it and looked at me and looked back at it and then back at me and so on and so forth. It was pretty sad actually. I could tell he was trying to figure out if the ugly person on my card was indeed me. He must have decided so, because he finally accepted my test. I felt so bad... I did look pretty good that night though, so at least the hot T.A. got to see me at my best. I officially decided to figure out which lab or recitation he teaches so I can get in on the hotness next term.

You might ask why I continue to live with such a poor excuse for an ID card. The answer is atually quite simple. You see, to replace the card, I would have to pay 25 dollars. This is kind of a lot of money and I am pretty poor, so thus far, I have opted to keep my card. My friends have offered to chip in and help me, but I couldn't do that to them. I wish the person who took my picture had asked my opinion on it before putting it on my card, but they didn't. And now I have to live my life as the proud owner of a nasty looking ID card.

Rant on My Life's Current Situation

I hate physics and stupid girls (with stupid voices that I can hear outside my door carrying on right now) and the ridiculously stupid people down my hall that have their stupid effing music blaring out its nasty, annoying, repetitive stupid retarded songs at noise levels that make me want to blow my brains out. I kind of want to walk out my door and strangle them all and yell naughty words in their faces. I hate them all and I wish they would all die. Ugh! And it doesn't help either that I have been staring at the same stupid physics problem for three days straight now and still have no idea how to do it. I have a test on Wednesday next week and I don't understand anything. I am so frustrated that I will even admit I went and cried in the shower tonight. Cries of rage and frustration I might add... I am so mad. At physics, at my stupid music blaring nasty creeper floormates, the people who invented physics, the people at my college who decided to have zoology majors take physics, and essentially anyone else who has anything to do with physics or who plays really loud stupid music. I guess I should probably calm down, but oh well. You could say I am slightly upset. I can't even really concentrate enough to write what I really want to say right now because that stupid music is going on in my background. It has been going on like this for the past hour and a half. I even went to take a really long shower in the hope that when I finished, my floor would be silent again. Needless to say, I was quite disappointed when I walked out of my bathroom and heard the music still raging on. I kind of want to make a poster that says. "I hate you and your stupid fucking music," which I would proceed to tape on their door. Now, I usually never use this type of language, and have never said the "F" word outloud as my own words, but I feel that this occasion warrants its use. I kind of hate the world right now. I am in a really bad mood.


The backstory. Well, not really. Just more ranting, but still...

Physics. I hate it with a passion. I wish the people who invented it and pioneered its use were never born. I wish their parents and grandparents and their parents and so on and so forth never existed. I thought I understood physics perfectly until I started my homework three days ago. Everything was going almost fine, not great, but just slightly below fine actually, when I got to the third problem. I couldn't do it. So I moved on to the fourth. I couldn't do it. Then I tried the fifth. And that is the one that I have been constantly trying to figure out all day today. I took little breaks to try to see if I could do any of the other problems on my homework, but lo and behold, I could not do them either! I want to die. I have never been so frustrated with my self and my ablilty to understand things. I think I am going through a small crisis.

Loud music. This I also hate with a passion. I don't think I would ordinarily mind it so much, but I think my inability to understand physics just makes my hate a million times worse. If I was trying to do calculus, I would not mind it... If I was trying to do acid-base equilibria, I would not mind it... If I was doing just about anything else, I would not even care that much at all. However, I just so happen to be doing physics right now. And I do mind the music. Quite a bit actually.

Being dumb. This one is slightly new to me, but I also hate it with a passion. I have never been dumb at something before. I have had to work quite hard to get a firm hold on several concepts (Ahem... general chemistry term numero dos...) But I have never felt as dumb as I do right now trying to understand physics. It is a new feeling and I do not like it very much. I decided just now that I am going to become best friends with the physics TA's because I need their help very much indeed.

It also doesn't help that I only got like four-ish hours of sleep last night. I volunteered like at 11:30 last night to help with parking for today's football game at 6:00am I guess I get kind of cranky when I don't get my beauty sleep. Still though.

I guess this is the end of my very first rant. It kind of fizzled away there in the end, but oh well. It was pretty rant-y in the beginning. I thought of many things to say during the course of my long shower, but since that stupid ridiculous, loud music was still playing when I got out, I forgot everything. That music makes me not concentrate very well. If it had not been playing when I got out, I doubt I would have written this long rant, but I think the music pushed me over the edge of my sanity and into rant-land.